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Before | After

No hope for the weary

So my birthday is in exactly one week, and I'm trying to resurrect my old tradition of posting fic on my birthday. Last year I actually posted a bit earlier than that, with the Groundhog Day-time loop Steve/Bucky story, because it was done and I was still working hard on my book for work. This year I'm again working hard on a book, which has turned out to be something of a nightmare and they had to both extend my hours and the deadline, thank god. But I'm also trying to fix up this story to post, which is taking a lot of time because I have to keep stealing little bits of work time away from actual paying work, and it feels so completely, soul-crushingly not worthwhile to be writing fic at all.

Plus it's another baseball series fic, so it's like "just what no one asked for!" But I couldn't help thinking about the ballgames that soldiers used to play in the war, and it seemed like a natural place to take the series.

I also started a Steve/Bucky vid but then got bogged down in trying to work on that plus the book, so I haven't made any more progress. I wish I knew how to get the look I want from it. I just don't know how to make it look visually like I want to see it in my head, and it's frustrating as hell. I don't like vids that are all showoffy with effects and stuff, most of the time, I'm there for the story and a lot of times I find that the story gets lost when people are spending all their time on effects. But this is one time where I really do wish I could understand and use those kinds of things.

I'm also trying to talk myself out of getting [tumblr.com profile] dorkbait's series of Bucky drawings they made for inktober--they are stunning, absolutely stunning, and it tells a somewhat cryptic but fascinating story of Bucky thinking about his progress. They've made the art available through a kickstarter book project, but I'm a) broke and b) already waiting for a birthday present I bought myself to arrive, so I feel like I shouldn't. But I have a feeling I will probably cave, just because wow, this fandom is still so strong for me, it's the only thing I really care about, and gorgeous fanart should be supported.


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Nov. 21st, 2015 10:06 pm (UTC)
I obviously have to get reading some of your Bucky fic. I'm writing one now (interrupting momentum on LongAssClintFic) to write me some Bucky head canon that no one asked for, also, as it also expresses my feels about a certain book.
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