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Last night I had the strangest dream

I had a sudden desire for some fic last night for a...pairing that's not...common, I think, and I searched on AO3, like ya do, and only six things came up and they were all either not really about that pairing or the pairing was one of about a hundred pairings and the fic was all tagged with these annoying Tumblr style tags that made me want to run in the other direction. There were two things I read, and they were not really about that at all. Whispers: is there any, um, Thor/Coulson fic out there in the universe? ::hangs head in shame:: Please don't judge me.

I also had this story start unspooling in my brain that was...uh, Coulson/Steve, and Coulson/Clint, and it was going pretty well in my mind as I fell asleep and I'm trying to decide if I should start writing it and see where it goes. Who the fuck AM I anymore? I don't know. I don't even know.

I'm also finally -- FINALLY! -- starting in on the Coulson/Clint fic that I asked for recs for an eon ago. And I've discovered a whole new squick I didn't know I had! Thank you, fandom, for helping me to find out how many things make me curl into a helpless ball of whimpering misery, even when something's really well written.

I do not have Panda Bear anymore. I had to give her back to the person who was caring for her when she had her pups. To say I feel like a failure is putting it mildly. But I could never stop her whining, no matter what I did, and she kept trying to run away (successfully on a few occasions), and wouldn't stop chasing Blues, and just...it had gotten really bad. I took her to the dog park many times, and realized that she needed to be around other dogs. She would growl at people who tried to pet her -- or, well, anyone, really -- on our walks, which is tough because everyone wants to pet her since she's so effing cute, and the previous foster mentioned how she was a) silent, b) sweet, c) uninterested in cats, and d) completely obedient, the only difference being she has other dogs and I don't, and we realized she had to be in an environment where she wasn't the only dog. At the dog park, she was sweet, friendly, happy, and silent. She would make an amazing agility dog, though, I realized as well.

Cesar always says on Dog Whisperer that dog parks are not for exercise, but he has clearly never been to the dog parks here. They are so different in California, but here the dogs can run and run and explore to their heart's content. We did two miles at least at Marymoore Saturday, after she'd spent the day with one of her puppies, and she ran and ran and ran, to the point I almost lost her in the parking lot when she attached herself to a pack who were leaving. But it was amazing to watch her go. I hope whoever gets her recognizes that in her. And now I realize I missed the Westminster dog show...crap. This is the first time in years I've missed it!

Comments

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kerithwyn
Feb. 14th, 2013 07:36 pm (UTC)
Shame, what? I would totally read Coulson/Thor. There's no crying in baseball, there's no judgment in fic preferences. *g*

I'm sorry things didn't work out with Panda Bear, but it really is an amazing thing you do, trying to foster these dogs for better homes.
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