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Updates, and Southland

Some of you were wondering about what's going on with my dad -- I wish I knew. He finally got shipped back home on Sunday. They send surgical patients to the nursing center at his retirement center, and when he called me on Sunday evening, he sounded really good and said he'd walked a little bit and sat in the wheelchair. But then I saw him on Monday and he was horrible -- and horrible to me and the nurses. After listening to him swearing at them and telling me to shut up when I asked him not to do that, I just basically got fed up and left. I didn't go down there yesterday, but will this afternoon after my orthodontist appointment. And he didn't call yesterday, either, which makes me think he was in a bad way.

On Monday he was nauseated again, confused to a degree, and he wouldn't even open his eyes by the time I came back to his room the second time (he kept sending me back to his apartment for things). He just turned away from everything and everyone. It's this vicious circle thing -- he complains about his pain, demands painkillers, which nauseate and constipate him, won't do therapy because it hurts or he's nauseated, and lather rinse repeat. They gave him a pacemaker in the hospital because apparently he's had a bad ticker all this time and we never knew, but I don't see how it's going to help anything if he won't get out of the fucking bed.

I talked to the resident services person yesterday and she said that once things are stable and they've gotten him past the immediate recovery, they will all sit down with me and have a conference on plans and programs. Medicare won't pay for this if he doesn't have a recovery goal. At this point I don't know what kind of goal we could even get him to set -- I can't see how he could go back to his apartment.

I can't abandon him, much as I hate him right now. This is how it's always been -- I love him and I hate him. He would never abandon me, no matter how bad things were. There's a social worker there, though, that at some point I'd like to talk with because I need to know how much I should be hands-on; the resident services person, who's also a social worker, mentioned that I need to take care of myself and if that means walking away and letting them handle him, that's okay too. But I can't quite bring myself to do that.

But I wish... I wish that just once, I didn't have to watch someone wasting away to death and be the caretaker. My mom, my sister... this helplessness and sense of impending doom just destroys me.

Anyways. Today is my final look-see at my teefs. I'm done with my braces! Well, sort of. Next steps are next. We'll figure out retainers and whatnot, and then I have to work with the dentist about a bite guard for night (I'd rather just have the retainers), and then I have to get the teeth fixed that have been hiding behind other teeth so you couldn't see the chips. But it's all pretty exciting for me after a year and a half of wearing the Invisaligns to see the light at the end. I really am ready to not have to wear these 24/7. I get to a point where I just can't stand them being on one. more. second. and so I don't always wear them as long as I should.

Best news of all, Southland returned for a third season last night!! It was truly awesome, and we got something we haven't had on TV for a long, long time -- women partnered with women. God, I love this show. I'm not even sure I like Lydia's new partner, but damn, just the idea of two women detectives is awesome, and then Chickie was partnered with a woman too in a patrol car, so I was very excited by this development. I like that Lydia is still maintaining her friendship with Russ and that he calls her on her behavior. They are pretty cute together, I have to admit.

And Ben and John are such a delicious trainwreck waiting to happen. That whole sequence at the bank was really amazing, but all I could think was "OH NO YOU DIDN'T" when John said he was stronger and demanded to pull in the wounded cop. Oh John, you delusional woobie, you. Of course you're not stronger, even if you were Bull Randleman -- you're a pill-popping back-brace wearing hot mess. You need to listen to Ben and let him help you and have sexual healing and stuff. 'cause it's clear he still hero-worships you despite your asinine behavior.

Flail. They are so wonderful together. I really don't know what I'll do when Ben's no longer his boot. Also, I LOVED John just being all up in that asshole security guard's grille, just because he was being an asshole. John takes no prisoners and doesn't suffer fools, which is what makes the whole addiction thing so juicy.

I actually really loved Nate and Sammy last night -- I can like Sammy so much more when he's being a cop with Nate than I can when he's with Tammy or even anyone else. I loved how jealous he got of Nate's old buddy last season, and I think they are better people together as partners than they can ever hope to be separately. Nate's wisdom in having them walk out of a bad situation last night made me really happy. They handled that so well.

Oh, show. If you could just get rid of Tammy and Sal, you would be 100% perfect. But you are a good show despite them.

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Comments

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jackiekjono
Jan. 5th, 2011 11:05 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry about your dad. We've been going through something similar with several of my mother's friends this year.

Joannie, who has always been a bit of a caustic wit has now lost some of her mental capacity and just cruelly insults everyone in ways that are not funny. We visit when we can and stay away when we can no longer take it.

This whole aging/life transition thing is not as much fun as it used to be.

So is the way hot guy in your icon on Southland? 'Cuz guh.
gwyn_r
Jan. 13th, 2011 04:07 am (UTC)
Sorry about the delay in replying, life's been a little... you know. Anyway, yes, the hot guy in my icon is indeed from Southland. He's Kevin Alejandro, who plays Nate Moretta, a detective in the gang unit. He also was on True Blood this past season as Lafayette's love interest, which, let me tell you, I was over the moon about -- my beloved Kevin macking with my favorite character on True Blood... a dream come true, I tell you.
crickwooder
Jan. 6th, 2011 12:13 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this right now. I think about you a lot.

But I'm glad your show is back to distract you, at least!
kirbyfest
Jan. 6th, 2011 01:27 am (UTC)
I am so sorry about all this with your dad. I wish I could help; you're in my thoughts.
mackiemesser
Jan. 6th, 2011 02:38 am (UTC)
Sorry about the situation with your dad; those kinds of things are always really difficult, even when the relationship isn't a bit fraught.

For me, the Invisalign retainers were basically thicker versions of the regular braces and I only had to wear them at night (I'm supposed to have an ultra totally for real this time final appointment in March, but I've been so damn sick of the things I've only been wearing them once a week--down from 3 times about 2 months ago--and that seems to do the trick well enough). Since they're thicker plastic, they seem to act like a bite guard for me when I clench my jaw.

gwyn_r
Jan. 13th, 2011 04:10 am (UTC)
Life's been a bit hectic lately, so sorry for the delayed reply. I didn't get the go ahead for retainers, alas -- they still want to tweak a few teeth, so I have to wait 8 weeks for my enhancements. Sigh. I am so ready to be done with them!! I'm glad to hear the retainers might be good for bite guards ... I am kind of afeared of the costs once these are done.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 14th, 2011 01:04 am (UTC)
No worries--frankly, I'm not even sure what day it is, sometimes, lately.

Yeah, that happened with me, too. I thought I was done, and then they tacked a couple more months--it seemed like it would never end!!
black_bird_777
Jan. 8th, 2011 02:50 am (UTC)
Not taking abuse is not the same thing as abandoning. Do talk to the social worker ASAP. They know the ins and outs of everything like this, so they should be very helpful.
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