somniloquence

I am so not a jewelry person. I used to wear a lot of big outlandish stuff back in the late '80s and early '90s, but it got old fast. And I can't keep my ears pierced (infections never really go away), so earrings are a big pain -- I used to have to convert all my earrings to clip ons, and they never really aren't painful, at the end of the day. Jo mentioned that she noticed I don't, and asked me why I never wear jewelry recently. It's really just a lack of interest in accessorizing, I guess -- the kind of jewelry I'm drawn to costs money, because I like unusual, simple, and very handcrafted pieces without too much blinginess. I do like one kind of jewelry, bracelets, but more the cuff style of bracelet. That's probably one of the few things I'd actually want to have a few of, but again, the ones I like are $$$.

Plus, you know, the same money you pay for a ring or necklace or something that you would rarely have a chance to wear anyway could go for shoes, clothes, dvds, music, or BPAL. Which all makes it even less likely I'd want to spend money on it.

But I got the Sundance jewelry catalog today and OMG, I want these two rings, and I'm completely surprised by it. They're both really affordable, and totally my style, not ornate, soft colors, simple and handcrafted. The mabe one is a bit pricier, and the glacier one is so pretty, but it has those two little knobby things, which I don't know how comfy that would be on a finger. I don't even know what my ring size is -- I have one that fits my ring finger, the only jewelry I wear, but I can't tell what size it is comparing it on a ring chart. It looks like the 6 circle is inside the ring edge, and the 7 is dead on with the edge of the ring, so which one is right?

Every year, my therapist encouraged me to buy a present for my sister on our birthday, to do just what I would do normally only keep it for myself and then I would feel better about the day -- I was doing something for her still. I never have done that, but this is totally what I would have gotten for her. She loved jewelry, and was totally a silver girl like me, and what she did have I almost universally liked. Maybe I should do a Jeremiah and write a card for her and burn it.

OTOH, I shouldn't spend money on something that frivolous now, so you all should probably do me a big favor and talk me out of it, 'kay?

I got an invite for the Archive of Our Own, so naturally I set up a page there, and have spent the past few days importing some of my shorter stories and one long one. Right now I have only six stories up, partly because I'm having troubles with the stories themselves and partly because I'm too lazy to post that many stories.

The account name is gwyneth, but that's because I was too stupid to understand that if I wanted my full name to appear on my stories, I had to, you know, sign up that way. I am a cotton-headed ninnymuggins, I tell you! I suppose I could cancel the account and start another one with the full name, but now that there are six stories, I'm less inclined to do it.

The big problem is that for some reasons, all the stories on my web site are porting over in narrow fixed widths, and I've taken all the other code out of them, but they still keep coming in that way -- it doesn't seem to matter whether I use the direct URL command to import, or copy the source code and paste it in. Sent in a bug report even though I'm not sure it's a bug -- I thought at first it might be a Dreamweaver thing, but it's doing it even with older stories I didn't use DW on. It also seems to be the same in Safari and Firefox. The two stories from the Yuletide archive are, of course, peachy keen.

I've never been much of an archive person because of issues I have around warnings and ratings and such, but at least there's the chance to not do that here so it works better for me. It makes me rather soul-crushingly aware, though, how out of it I am in terms of fic, and how old everything is. I have 10 more days to go before I turn the big five oh and things like this sort of make me want to cling to my last few days of less than half a century-ness even more. At the gym yesterday when I was putting in my weight and age on the elliptical, I said to the machine "Hah! You're not getting me to round up just yet, bastard!"

Speaking of ninnymugginses, and we were, there were two movie quotes in the last quotes post that weren't claimed. Here are the answers:

7. It's not like I'm a lesbian or something. ... It's just that all the people I've been attracted to happen to be girls. -- Election
10. I've never kissed a member of the clergy before. Would it be a sin? -- Robin & Marian

Sorry for the lengthy delay, my dear Yuletide writer. Busy weekend!

In general, I will just be very happy to have a story to wake up to on the high holy day of the Winter Shopping Festival. It will be wonderful to see that someone else cares about my fandoms, too. I hope that you will write what you enjoy, and my details in the Yuletide signup are pretty much my main points of interest or concern. Everything else here is just the gravy -- makes something taste better and has lots of yummy fat, but it's not necessary to the enjoyment of the main items. I can be pretty sure you're not here for my fandom of one, MDs, so I won't spend too much time on that one.

( Details about my fandom requests )

I am both happy and horrified by my Yuletide assignment. I mean, I actually went back in and added this fandom to my list of offers because I couldn't believe I was dumb enough to forget it the first time, which meant I had to redo everything on the long list, so that shows dedication to it. And I love it so!

But... OMG, I don't know if I can do this justice. I doubt it sincerely. I am not funny enough, bantery enough, good enough, witty enough... Stuart Smiley, where are you when I need you? I have fear!

Fortunately my friend Michael was here when I got it so we discussed all kinds of possibilities and batted ideas around, which is always helpful. He has helped me flesh out some of my best story ideas.

I will try to get a dear Yuletide writer letter up soon. It's been a long couple days.

::makes flaily arms::

I called Dad today and asked if they were doing anything special for Armistice/Veterans Day at the old folks home, and he told me that he had been trying to remember what he was doing 65 years ago today. Then he proceeded to tell me this story, one he hasn't told me before. I thought it was so awesome I should share it with you all. Despite our tumultuous, violent, and difficult relationship my whole life, I really do love my dad. (For those who don't know, my dad is a decorated WWII vet who drove a truck in a tank battalion, often behind enemy lines.) This was just before the Battle of the Bulge.

"What was I doing 65 years ago today, Veterans Day, 1944.

About seven p.m. that day, I drove onto a bunch of bushes in a forested area and parked my truck near Epinal, France. I had just finished a three-day drive from Marseille, France.

It was snowing when we left Marseille on the ninth. I was towing an armored trailer with a ton of anti-tank mines, about 50 of them, plus a standard load of seven and a half tons of tank ammunition on a two and half ton-rated GMC truck. I was the next to last truck in a hundred-truck convoy. There was about half an inch of snow on the road.

To prevent any one truck catching fire and setting another truck on fire (from potential bombs or artillery), we kept a fifty-yard interval between vehicles. Being the next to last truck in the convoy, I either had my throttle to the floorboard or was braking to maintain the fifty-yard interval. It was not a boring drive. I do not remember when I slept that night.

The next day I noticed two things while driving through French towns. You have never seen the ad, but Pall Mall cigarettes had an ad showing how much longer Pall Mall cigarettes were than other cigarettes. It showed two cigarettes being held between a thumb and forefinger, showing how much longer the Pall Mall was. In one French town a GI was holding two cigarette packs up, one a Pall Mall, for a Frenchman, apparently to get more in a trade. I got laughing so hard I almost drove off the road. The other thing I noticed was French women putting flowers around the fountains in the town square -- at first I thought they were celebrating Armistice Day on the tenth, but then I realized they were getting ready for the eleventh.

Later that morning, I came around a forested curve and found the convoy completely stopped. I slammed on my brakes to stop. The last truck, driven by a guy named Weinstein, hit me. 'Damn it, Weinstein, this was no time to play.' Weinstein had hit me fairly hard but I did not have time to stop. The convoy took off, so I did. In the next town, I wondered why the civilians were moving away from the edge of the sidewalk. Outside of town, Weinstein pulled even with me and yelled to stop. I did. The impact from when he'd hit me was so hard that it bent the trailer tongue, and the trailer was now riding two feet to the right of my truck and on the sidewalk of the narrow French streets. Weinstein was chewing me out for stopping so fast when Lt. Darr came back and listened for a moment, then asked Weinstein how he could have hit me with a fifty-yard interval. End of discussion.

That night when we pulled into a French cavalry post, I made a sharp right turn and broke off the tongue. Our wrecker (we had two) picked it up in the morning, only to lose the trailer 500 feet down a mountainside, but that is another story.

I often thought about a decision I had made in Marseilles to carry the 50 mine fuses under the front seat of my truck instead of in the box on the front of the trailer that got bent from the impact. I thought the truck interior would give the fuses a gentler ride. [Seriously, imagine if he'd had the fuses in the trailer. I am gobsmacked, but he just laughs.]

On Nov 12, 1944, we woke up to find 40 of our 42 trucks stuck in the mud. My truck was the only one with a winch that was not stuck. The bushes had floated me. It took three days to unstick the trucks."

-------

Ladies and gentleman, my dad. He did not earn the nickname Suicide Kid for nothing -- once he took a bet from a co-driver that he couldn't get down an ice and snow covered mountainside road without using his hands. He let the truck bounce from inside on the mountain wall to the icy barriers on the steep open edges that had built up from the piles of snow.

This is a picture of him on the back of his truck. You can't see it well, but the writing on top of the truck back, above the grid, says Suicide Kid. He's wearing about three or four layers of clothing because it's shortly after the Bulge and was paralyzingly cold.



Dad comes from a long line of military men and women (his mother was a field nurse in WWI), and a few years ago, we went back to Kuna, Idaho, where most of his family is from, and visited graves at the cemetery. A lot of things in the town are named for members of Dad's family, because the town was created by my great-grandfather. This is my great-uncle Cy's grave -- as you can see, he was quite old when he passed. Even after being gassed severely in WWI and shot, he still lived to a ripe old age, and was quite a character.

Had a couple of interesting and sweet things happen this weekend. One was that someone apparently paid for my membership to Pacificon, aka Bitchin' Party. It's an anonymous benefactor but I wish that I knew who it was so I could say thank you properly -- it's an incredibly kind gesture and one that means a lot to me, and it's hard to not know who the wonderful person is! I really didn't mind not being able to pay at this time for one, because fortunately Brynn McK suggested notifying me if they got close to their cap, and I figured that anyway, if I couldn't afford to go, I am at least in the same city so I can hang out in the lobby and see people, even if I couldn't go to functions, and that would be enough. But someone very thoughtful gave me entrance! (I guess Dad will have to find something else to get me.)

The second was that my BFF Keith in Washington DC called and asked if I would come out to DC for the week between Xmas and New Year's if he bought me a ticket. He doesn't really want to spend his (mandatory) time off alone and he figures we can go up to NYC for a bit and do some of the other stuff we didn't get to last time we were there -- I realized the other day that each time I've been there, it's been with Keith at least some of the time. Plus also possibly see some sights I haven't yet seen in the general area -- I'm especially interested in some of the really old cemeteries and Civil War sites, of course. I'll just cross my fingers there will be no blizzards impeding my journeys.

Still struggling with bad feelings, but those were some pick me ups for sure. In the meantime, I had some quotes running through my head the past few days for various reasons, so I thought I would resurrect the "Guess the 15 movie quotes" meme that I love. You know the rules -- no Googling, IMDBing, or otherwise looking up of the lines for the answers. Some are easy peasy, some are a bit more obscure. If you guess right, you get virtual cupcakes.

1. Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing? My Cousin Vinnie - Torra
2. Lingerie. Oh, remember lingerie? Road Warrior - Feochadn
3. I can't deal with cleaning up. Let's sell the house. Apollo 13 - Fenchurche
4. I was raised up to be a gunfighter in a family of gunfighters. Dark Blue - Feochadn
5. Come and get it, it's a running buffet! Shaun of the Dead - Feochadn
6. Red light stop, green light go, yellow light go very fast. Starman - Fenchurche
7. It's not like I'm a lesbian or something. ... It's just that all the people I've been attracted to happen to be girls.
8. My mom wouldn't buy them for me -- she said they were Satan's panties. Miss Congeniality - Klia
9. How would you like to go on a real old-fashioned binge? Mr. Deeds Goes to Town - Klia
10. I've never kissed a member of the clergy before. Would it be a sin?
11. I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed 11 cookies into the VCR. Elf- Torra
12. I can't blame him. If I were going to die, there's nowhere on earth I'd rather be. Romancing the Stone - Torra
13. Humans would put seeds in the ground, pour water on them, and they grow food -- like pizza! WALL-E - Klia
14. Stop being taller than me! A Hard Day's Night - Klia
15. There's a human being named Overdose? A Man Apart - Hyptertwink

I have not felt like posting much lately, and don't even know why I am now except that I got stood up again tonight and so now I'm home when I wasn't expecting to be.

I signed up for Yuletide this year again, and offered 11 fandoms, which is... a LOT. For me anyway. I'm not sure if I can even write some of them (well, any of them), but they are all things I know well. It's just the prospect of coming up with an idea and being able to not disappoint the giftee I worry about. I requested the full complement of four fandoms, because I know that my fandom of one, MDs (with William Fichtner, John Hannah, and Jane Lynch from Glee and Michaela Conlin from Bones), will never be offered by anyone else, even though it's the one thing I truly want. You have to have a plan B when your fandom is that unknown.

I wasn't, however, able to sign up for Bitchin' Party, aka Pacificon, today because I just really don't have the moolah. Especially since this is sort of a bad month for me, usually, being as how it's birthday month and I'm planning to run away to Vancouver this year with black_bird_777 this year (although not on the birthday, just a few days before) and we're staying in a luxe hotel. If it's anything like our usual trips, we will be eating our way through the city, although this time we're hoping to try some new to us spots we haven't been to before (except the Breton creperie off Robson, because it is our favorite place for breakfast). Anyways, that precludes the money for the con that I'd have to pony up this month, but I guess I'll see if Dad gives me his usual cash for birthday thing, or not -- probably not, since he's been helping me out too much this year.

I sent in a resume for the most made-for-me perfect regular freelance work for a video magazine and wrote what I thought was a fantastic pitch letter, but they got more than 60 resumes after their posting looking for review copyeditors, and the guy said they'd be in touch by Wed. for the people they wanted to send tests to. I was not on that list apparently. I could not be more perfect for that kind of work with my history, and yet, I didn't even make the cut, and this seems to be the story of my life lately with freelance work. I must be more of a fuckup loser than even I realize, because seriously, it's like some of these opportunities are written solely for me, and yet, I can't get arrested. Arg.

One of many reasons I've been so down lately besides the other stuff is that I'm being audited for taxes in 2007, specifically the sales tax deduction I took from all the reno in the house, including the kitchen. It's been going on since early in the year, and they keep sending me scary letters, and then I call, and find out they don't have any records of my stuff, and they'll send ANOTHER letter, and it starts all over again, and drags out for months per letter. I'm terrified of the IRS, which is why I spend money each year on a certified tax accountant rather than do my own.

This most recent letter told me I have one other option, to go to court. They assess interest on the payment they say I owe them, starting now, unless I choose to go to court. So I called E, my tax person, and she has told me in the past that ever since they went to these paper audits a few years ago to save money, it's been a huge disaster for people and that tax people and accountants loathe them. Before, you met with the auditor and you showed them your paperwork and they went, "OK" and it was done. But now they lose your paperwork, send you letters, take calls, send more letters, lose more paperwork, and on and on. They all go through Atlanta, so there's no one you can talk to locally. So she called them Tuesday and went through it again, since she has power of attorney for my taxes, and they said that they had no record of my paperwork (over 80 pages of receipts and spreadsheets) but they did have a record of having received it (because I fucking sent it certified mail, since they lost everything before that I mailed or faxed).

I'm so afraid of a lien or something on my house. Or going to tax jail or whatever they do to people. I have never forgotten this series of articles I read in this fantastic paper called the National Observer about what the IRS does to people for the piddliest of tax issues, and so they frighten me on a very deep level, the way all evil government agencies do. They also told E that the person (whom they never identify, btw) formerly handling my claim is no longer there because of the lost paperwork. Gee, ya think maybe you have incompetent employees? Srsly? They can never tell me anything on the phone, just make notes that I called. So on Monday I'm going over to E's for dinner and faxing -- we're going to send them all 80 pages again, and discuss it, and her and her husband are good friends so I know there'll be lots of there-thereing.

Between freelance work disappointments, the IRS, feeling so alone, and the looming big five-oh that I won't get to spend with my twin, I really have to fight to get out of bed in the morning and keep going. If it wasn't for the kitties, I don't even know what I'd do. For so many years, I thought I'd be in Hawaii on this birthday, with sis_r, drinking fruity drinks on a beach and listening to her bitch me out for something she thinks I'm doing wrong. Now I'm probably going to be in my house with the cold and rain outside, watching something lame on TV, and wondering when I'll get the next letter from the IRS telling me they're coming after me. Blerg, as Liz Lemon would say.

Probably the last thing I need to do is a secret love meme, because I'm afraid of how it will remind me right now of just how crappy and lonely and awful I feel, but the wonderful queenofthorns has started one and my name is here. You should go put your name in so I can leave you loving comments and hopefully it will make me feel better -- sometimes doing for others is a good way to get over other people doing shitty things to you. (It's anonymous, and Queen of Thorns has turned off IP logging -- see her post for info if you don't know how to do this!)

Seriously, I just hate so many people right now, and am reminded of the bumper sticker "mean people suck." Cuz they do, you know? But OTOH, I get to see some good people tomorrow and try my hand at Rock Band, which I have never played, so there is that. I've seen someone do Rock Band, but it seemed really boring and kinda dumb to me; I have it on good authority, though, that you won't enjoy it unless you're playing yourself.

Had to take Orive to the vet today (that's her Engrish name) because she's had these black scabs and patchy skin by her mouth the past couple days. I thought it might be feline acne or miliary dermatitis; turns out it's just the acne, which is good, but we don't know why. The only plastic dish she comes in contact with (that I know of, since she's a scam artist who has managed to get at least one person to feed her) is the water fountain, but we've had that for a couple years and no problems, so both the vet and I think it's probably flea related. After a couple of flea-free years, I found some on her the other day, but it's impossible to control them with flea combing on her because she is so disagreeable about grooming from me. I really hate being bitten and scratched, and it always comes down to a fight with her.

Sometimes it's hard for me to remember when she was such a sweet, mellow, agreeable kitty. Olive has never liked being picked up and cuddled, but she was more amenable before Blues came. I have to give her some antibiotic ointment for the chin spots, which will be... interesting. A lot of times, the only way I can clip her claws is when she's asleep. By the time she's fully awake and starting to hiss and snarl, I've gotten at least four toes done.

I feel sorry for kitties about the acne or dermatitis thing. It doesn't seem to bother them in the least, but it looks painful and they get little blood spots if you wash or pull off the black scabby things. And then they get their chins shaved so they look even sillier. It's so undignified. It gets harder and harder to trick her into letting me catch her so I can put her in the cat carrier. I don't know what I'll be able to do next time -- I know cream won't work, because I did that this morning, and so it will never work again. She's too clever by half, and far too cranky.

But here, have a kitty pic or three.
( kittehs )

Is there anything better than watching a new fandom spread out across your flist and hearing people pile on the love for someone you already love? I think not! I may have already watched the White Collar pilot four times now. Some of them were by accident! And I think it's still on the tifaux. Um. Don't judge me! It works for me way better in the caper department than some other things and so I think this one may become a true fandom. Though I have to wait to see -- I loved the Leverage pilot but it's been downhill ever since.

In the meantime, I enjoy the Matt Bomer and Tim DeKay love. When I first heard they were in a series together I about peed my pants. It's so rare that two guys I love that much get to be together headlining a show, and especially a journeyman actor like DeKay getting a show of his own... it made me deliriously happy. Over the weekend I think I told at least six different people where they'd seen him before, because they couldn't place him (or Matt, for that matter).

I know that before its demise this year in the subprime fiasco, Washington Mutual Bank, headquartered here in Seattle, was in a lot of different states, but I don't know how far and wide their commercials made it out. This one from a few years ago has always stuck with me, because it's a) HIGHlarious and b) has Tim DeKay, Jane Lynch (who people are discovering lately on Glee), and the actress who played Sukie on Gilmore Girls in it. I was so surprised, because all of them were working regularly at the time and it was so unusual to see them in an ad. And together! So new and old Tim fans, here's a crummy YouTube video of the ad.

OMG, you guys, I totally <3 White Collar! But then I kinda knew I would. Anyone who's watched Chuck knows how H-O-T-T hot Matt Bomer is, and I adore Tim DeKay (especially because he will always be Dean from Big Eden to me). Loved the Rat Pack look on Neal, loved that for once an FBI agent is smart and literate and competent instead of stupid in comparison to the criminal, loved that there seems to be a nicely rounded cast backing them up (especially the "Um, she would wear the hat"). And how awesome is it to see Diahann Carroll on TV again? She is so, so wonderful.

I have only one bone to pick, and that's the reference to Neal being in supermax. That is so very not a supermax facility he was in, and a criminal like Neal would not even be in a supermax prison, anyway. He probably wouldn't even be a max security facility, but let's just say he was. At least the wife gets it right, I don't know where the supermax thing came from. There aren't even that many supermax prisons out there, anyway, and they're sure not filled with white collar criminals.

This will fill in nicely for my happy-making Burn Notice hiatuses. It's very much a USA type show right now, but they've found a winning formula for the channel and this is an excellent addition.

I finally just gave up trying to figure out what to nominate for Yuletide. Most of the things I might write or want stories in are already up there, and so are the ones I nominated, except for my fandom of one, MDs. I just couldn't think of anything else as obscure to take a chance on except some odd movies that I don't know if I would either want to read or write in, so they're probably best left unmentioned. It seemed like ones I expected to have other noms have dropped off a lot of my friends lists' radars.

The hardest thing of all? When someone spells your fandom wrong, the nitwits, and you can't do anything about it. You can fix the names when they get it wrong, but you can't fix the title on your own. Peoples.

These were mine so far, in no particular order:
The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai [sic] Across the 8th Dimension
Charlie Jade
Deadwood
Flashpoint
Keen Eddie
MDs

I may still change something depending on how I feel about including my original fandom before I knew what a fandom was, Laredo, but it's just more waffling. Right now I'm much more worried about being able to write ANYthing.

ETA: DW question for those in the know--I can't seem to find anything about whether we can do custom mood themes yet. Are those available?

On Dog Whisperer tonight, they featured a story on a woman who rescued an abused dog even though she was in a really bad shape herself. Cesar recognizes that the dog's aggression is totally related to her pain from a debilitating injury and her emotional stress, so he has her undergo acupuncture and takes her to a meditation instructor.

When they walk in the door, there's... Jeff Kober. And it says "Jeff Kober Meditation Instructor" on the show ID. I totally freaked out -- I mean, the guy who specializes in playing sick psychos and evil supernatural characters on dozens and dozens of shows is a... guy who teaches meditation? And he's wearing glasses and looking all friendly. But of course, WE KNOW what he's really like. He's most famous among my fannish pack from his appearances on Buffy the Vampire Slayers and Mag 7, but he's also been in Burn Notice and SPN and you name it, he's been in it, usually playing a Very Bad Man. And still well known from his role on China Beach.

His bio doesn't mention anything about it. But I mean, I cannot imagine meditating with him sitting there. I'd be expecting him to start intoning in his evil way about how someone tastes like strawberries.

I have no idea what fandoms to nominate! I assume many of the ones I'm interested will be included, since they are bigger obscure fandoms these days. But... do I just mimic my list from last year? There really aren't any new things I'm that sold on and would want to write, but it might be worth just doing it for other people. I just really don't know what to do.

I also don't know what to do about my icon! I got this one by liviapenn because it fit me, as last year's was my first ever Yuletide. But now that I'm not technically a newbie, should I get a new one? I have no idea! So of course, a poll, where you can decide for me!

OMG tonight's Mad Men! The most distressing episode ever, y/y? Don, how are you so sexy and lovable and so loathsome at the same time?

Went to see Zombieland with mlyn today. SO MUCH FUN Y'ALL!! I love zombies, especially spoofy zombie stuff and this one had all the great ingredients -- gore, more gore, and too much gore, Hummers and Cadillac Escalades with cow catchers, lots and lots of guns, and carnival rides. Plus Abigail Breslin, who somehow is getting cuter as she gets older, I don't know how. I couldn't stop laughing at the Russell Crowe joke and I think I injured myself.

It comes it at a lean runtime of 80 minutes so it doesn't overstay its welcome, important in a zombie movie. I liked that the zombies move faster than the traditional Night of the Living Dead versions, but a little slower than 28 Days Later ones -- nice variations on their thematic inspirations. Normally I despise Woody Harrelson, but I think this was a role he was designed to play, you know what I mean?

But I think the best thing is the credits and title cards and such -- its interactivity with the action in the movie was delightful. All in all, a good time, well-done, and more laughs than I've had in a really long time at a comedy. This would make a perfect complement to Shaun of the Dead for a sterling double feature.

The other day, greensilver came over and we watched some older vids, although I still have hundreds left unwatched that I need to borrow from others so she can see them. There's just no way to get even partway through all the stuff that's out there from the early days, but it's so fun to have a newer vidder be interested that I can't resist trying. Most of it's still only on old tapes, but some of them have been digitzed (not digitally remastered, which is a different thing altogether).

One of those we watched is probably my favorite Buffy vid, certainly my favorite Spike or Spike/Buffy vid, and possibly my favorite vid of all time (well, that someone else made, because I still love our own A Fire Is Burning beyond all reason), Lynn's Motorcycle Drive By. If you've never seen it, there's a DL available at JKL's vids site, which is passworded but it's super easy to get the PW as they have an autoresponder that will send it immediately.

Alas, Lynn has kind of gafiated from fandom, but if she were ever to attempt to remaster something, I would probably enslave myself to her to remake this one. If I could figure out how to do it exactly, I would probably remaster it for her, in fact, but I know she time-shifted some clips and I'm not always certain which ones those were (I can spot some of them, but others I don't know).

It's just such an exquisite piece and one of the best song choices I've ever come across -- it's sad, romantic, rocking, tough, tragic, violent, all the things that defined Spike's love for Buffy. One of the lines, "this is the last time/we'll be friends again" is paired with the clips of the two of them drinking shots on the coffin in S6, and out of the hundreds and hundreds of vids I've seen in my life, that may still be one of the best lyric-clip fits I've encountered -- unless it's the shot from early in the song on "I could never have you/I knew that before you did" where Spike is walking with Buffy toward her house in S2 in the second half of Becoming, and she's so suspicious of him when he's offered to help her get rid of Angelus. Augh.

It breaks my heart, even after all this time of being away from the Spuffy and feeling like the end of S6 and S7 ground away my heart for that story. Watching it again after a long time, I'm reminded of how intensely I felt that pairing, and since it was made long before Seeing Red destroyed the fandom for so many people, it's still got the power to show how doomed it all was without it being a forced, contrived, repugnant character destroying device perpetuated by brain dead showrunners. Because that was the nature of their relationship -- the line in the song that's repeated is "I've never felt so alone, and I've never felt so alive" and that was pretty much what it did to Spike and in many ways to Buffy, and we never needed the crappy anvilly nature of an attempted rape to show that.

Lynn managed to encapsulate everything that was tragic and doomed and wonderful and sexy and just... crazy good about their relationship through this song and her superb use of clips and her excellent vidding skills. It's an early computer vid when people were still using off-air tape source, and there are effects like superimpositions and dissolves in it, but they are used sparingly and with good taste, so they don't overpower the simplicity of the narrative or the complexity of the relationship. I wish that more vids were made like this one, so powerful and clear and emotional, instead of showing vidders who are amused by their own technology or envelope-pushing.

I've slavered over the vid before years ago to her, but in case she's still reading my LJ, thank you again for this lovely vid. I've totally felt a renewed a desire to rewatch Buffy again, and I think if I watch this vid enough times, I may even be able to try writing again and finish my WIP. It provided inspiration for other Spuffy stories I did, too, and I hope maybe it can do that again.

Although now I really wish I had a copy of the song!

There's this thing I've wanted to talk about since Vividcon, but after the fan fracas took over any discussion of the con, I just decided to keep my yap shut for a while because it feels like anything about it will fan flames. I have a lot I wish I could say about the overreactions I saw, about the language people used and the conclusions so many people jumped to, but I'm just going to focus on one area that I know a lot about because I think it needs clarifying.

Vid review panels are not for the vidders. They never have been.

( Vid review isn't for vidders? The deuce you say. )

I had a great time with feochadn last night at the Puyallup Fair. For readers not from this area, it's actually the Western Washington State Fair, but has been known as the Puyallup for as long as I can remember, since that's where it's held. Decades ago they came out with this incredibly successful marketing and ad campaign of "Do the Puyallup" so that's what people kind of hold on to round these here parts. (Pronunciation: pyoo-AL-up)

It's been so many years since I've been able to find people who will go on rides with me. When I went years ago with Ex, he would only go on the ferris wheel. BOOOOring. And my friend Michael can't go on rides anymore since his heart surgery. Jo braved the rollercoaster with me last night even though she's never had the chance to go on a real live large coaster before -- it was a gorgeous night (although a little too hot until the sun went down, yeesh -- I was sweating up a storm) and there was an orange moon and then suddenly we were whooshing downhill really fast and it was just wild. We both had tears afterwards because of the wind, and I guess my hair looked quite amusing. That thing is always over too fast. It might not be the best thing for me with the vertigo, but I just love it so much. The fair's coaster is one of the few remaining original wooden coasters in the country and there's a certain fear in that clickety-clacketiness that makes it extra special. I guess if you're going to get killed in a coaster accident, what a way to go.

We also did the chair spinny ride and then moseyed over to contemplate the Extreme Scream, which I'd been talking about nonstop since we began. I really, really want to go on this: it takes you up about 20 stories (185 feet), super fast, and then drops you down almost to the ground, then back up, then down, up and down. It's huge and awesome and has a warning list a mile long for people but it looks so fun I could die. Which some people thought would nearly happen to them a few years ago. Heh. It wasn't a big deal at all, but people are silly.

Jo's had a lot of back problems, though, and figured it would not be a good ride -- that initial five-second shoot upwards looks like it might pack a bit of a punch. And honestly, I have no idea how I'd handle that with the vertigo -- most of the coaster wasn't a problem, except the drops. I had to close my eyes on the drops because I couldn't adjust them fast enough; keeping my eyes trained on a spot helps check the dizziness and nausea if it's bothering me really bad. Still, we decided we might try for the spring fair and pump ourselves up to get in shape for the ride next year. (Also, I desperately would love to ride the Sling Shot, but there's no way I can since it whirls around upside-down, which would be Very Bad for someone with vertigo. Sigh. This video shows what it's like from a rider's perspective, which is dull, but what is cute is that they're using the song written to market the fair years ago, which is adorkable beyond words.)

We had some okay barbecue and my favorites, the dairy barn's chocolate ice cream cones and the roasted corn on the cob, so dripping with butter that you have to eat it bending over, but I waited till we were leaving to get a bag of fair scones, and finally had to give up because my hip hurt so much I just couldn't stand in the interminable line. Apparently everyone else had the same idea because the queue was so long that they probably didn't get to everyone before closing time. Fair scones are a weird, unique tradition here -- the local Fisher Mills started serving them back in 1923 and they are still one of the most popular aspects of the fairs in this state. They're much more like real English scones than the dry, giant bricks of bread that people call scones here in America, and when I buy them I always get some clotted cream and make myself a little cream tea here at home. Alas, no fair scones for me! But I will go buy some mix and some jam and cream and do it myself (it's just always better to have someone else make them for you, and the smell of a dozen in the car on the drive home is divine).

We found some cool things to buy, and we debated over me buying a giant silly hat -- it was sort of Audrey Hepburn at Ascot in My Fair Lady meets Huggy Bear from Starsky & Hutch. I wanted to get it for Club Vivid next year, but not knowing if I can go makes it harder to spend the money, although there is always the spring fair. It did look quite smashing, if very silly, on me. We saw many cheapo silly things that would be awesome at Club Vivid. We spent a lot of time in the horse barns and chatted with many of the kids there -- one boy in particular had just come from his show with a gorgeous buckskin, and he was quite a character. I love the 4-H people because they always ask if you have questions and will talk to you at length, plus the barns, especially the draft horse barn, smell like nirvana to me. I really don't miss much about rural life at all except horsies.

We were both exhausted when we left and it took some time getting out of there, and I think I slept harder without drugs than I have in a long time. My teeth even hurt because I'd had my aligners out all night (which was really a nice respite), but that didn't stop me from sleeping hard. I love the fair despite crowds, despite noise and stupid people and all the attendant problems of large events. At one point this little boy was making a beeline straight for the Andean musicians we'd just walked past, and he rammed right into us (his head was down like he was a running back trying to make it through a line of tackles) and then fell down, we picked him, he ran off again, and I thought yeah, this is what I love about the fair. It's crazy but no one wants to stop having a good time.

mlyn and I watched Mad Men last night instead of our planned movie(s), and then the Emmys, which I normally don't watch because they are so depressingly middle America in their decision-making and consistently ignore anything genre. But we both love Neil Patrick Harris so that made it more tolerable, and really, the Dr. Horrible interruptus pretty much made the entire event (and I loved NPH's faux-bitterness -- or was it real? -- over losing the Emmy). And look, I love Mr. Cranston and whatnot, but this is two in a row for him and sorry, but Jon Hamm's Don Draper is one of the most complex and fascinating characters ever on TV and his performance is a thing of true beauty. If they weren't going to give him the statue for that, then they should have given him one for his guest spots on 30 Rock because dude, he was beyond brilliant. I crack myself up every time by uttering "I don't know what that means!" when I'm feeling down (Oh my god, I am the generalissimo!).

I think the same goes for Alec Baldwin, in that I think he's beyond brilliant in 30 Rock. He totally deserves all the recognition he has received for it, all the awards, but I would have loved to see Jim Parsons get that thing this year. Sheldon in season 2 Big Bang Theory has gone through so many fascinating learning experiences and yet remained so very awful, and that kind of fearless performance is a wonder to behold. (Not that Jack Donahey isn't a fearless role, as well, because he's so hilariously venal and shallow.)

But anyhoo. Mad Men last night was brilliant and I am still mentally digesting it all. The one thing I have to say is that M'lyn and I were dying over the you know what, and all I could think was "OH NO THEY DI'INT!!". Wow, that show. SHOW. I love you so. And Joanie, I worship the ground you walk on in your stiletto heels.

There hasn't been much thus far in the new TV season I'm interested in. I have been watching Glee and probably will continue to, but some of the things disturb me, particularly the cruel humor directed at the gay kid and the kid in the wheelchair. I realize that there's a kernel of truth in that sort of thing, but... I don't know that I want to watch it all the time. It also hits my embarrassment squick buttons from time to time. However, and it's a big but, the musical numbers are fantastic (I especially enjoyed the Acafellas), and it has two cast members I adore -- Jane Lynch and Stephen Tobolowski. Talk about fearless performers -- they have this way of imbuing even the most hateful characters with this weird kind of twisted charm, and I can never not watch Jane if she comes across my TV screen. I adore her beyond reason. So it's a season pass but I'm not sure if it will ever be a huge fandom, though I will definitely wait and see, because it does look like they're showing people growing and changing. One hopes.

Will wait on Flash Forward to see what happens there.

If a metric ton of you have recently received DW notices about me subscribing and whatnot, please do not be alarmed. ;-) I'm trying to rebuild as much of my LJ lists as I can over there, but it's been really hard because I don't always know what names people are using if they've changed them, and I've been very lax about keeping track and adding people. I still plan to be mostly here, but considering the money I spent on DW when I didn't have any, I really should take advantage of it.

If you have a DW account and I'm not on one of your access or subscribe accounts and you don't hate me, would you let me know so I can add you (or feel free to add me and I'll piggyback)? I still haven't managed my subscriptions vs. access stuff totally (it's so daunting! There are like nearly 400 people here on LJ!) but I do want to know who and where you are! I am a firm believer in the No Drama rule of friending, even though I don't practice it for myself (I'm always wringing my hands about what I did wrong when someone unfriends me. Yes, I'm that sad). So no hard feelings if you don't want to read my page, but I'd still like to know where you are if we're friends on LJ.

(On Dreamwidth, I'm just gwyn)

Also... I'm frequently at my desk and able to chat with people, but I don't know where anyone is in the chatty rooms. I used to love hanging out. Whenever I ask people I know in real life, they pretend they're not chatting at all, yet they post comments about chats and stuff like that. So I guess that means they don't want me in their chat spaces, but I feel like surely there must be some people who won't cold-shoulder me and are hanging in either IRC or jabber or whatever. I miss being connected and I sit here most of the day anyway. I'm not overly chatty, but I do love saying hi and seeing how people are and what they're talking about. If you hang out somewhere and wouldn't mind company, let me know! On AIM I'm emcat8, and my Jabber account is through my LJ name, I also have an IM under my real name leftover from working at Microsoft. I *think* I have an ICQ but I can't remember. And while I haven't totally figured out Ircle, I did get it to work during Yuletide, so that's available.

Oh! And one more thing! Does anyone know of a screen cap site for The Big Bang Theory? I was thinking of making a BBT mood theme, primarily of Sheldon, but I don't have DVDs to cap from.